December 5, 2023
"The writing and reading of a eulogy is, above all, the simple and elegant search for small truths. This can be surprisingly hard, to take notice of the smallest, most unpolished details of a life and set them up for us to stare at in the wonder of recognition." —Tom Chiarella, "How to Give a Eulogy" How do you begin writing a eulogy? Editor Carol DeChant explains, "Obituaries are usually mini-biographies, focused on what a person did, but the eulogy is much deeper, more about who the person was...It's meant for the select group of people who knew and cared for that person, or who care for the survivors." Christina Ianzito, in "How to Write a Eulogy," offers these suggestions; many of them come from Garry Schaeffer's book, A Labor of Love: How to Write a Eulogy: Outline the eulogy. In addition to helping you stay focused, an outline will keep your eulogy organized and effectively break down the task of writing into manageable pieces. Ask for the input of other family members and friends. They may be able to provide you with some great stories to share. Always try to share examples of the statements you make about your loved one. If you want to say, "she was generous with her time," tell a story that supports the statement. Do not focus too much on yourself. After all, this isn't a eulogy for you; keep your writing focused on your loved one. You may even want to ask others to read your first draft to make sure the focus is in the right place. Go for the humor. Shared laughter is a very healing experience so don't be afraid to make people laugh. Write the first draft. Don't fuss over every word; just get your ideas on paper. Put it aside for a while. This has, no doubt, been an emotional experience. Take some time away from the writing desk to get perspective and release stress or sorrow. Come back to edit and polish. This is the time to refine the eulogy into its final form. Print a legible copy of the eulogy, in a large font, to assist in the delivery of your well-chosen words. There's nothing worse than not being able to read your handwriting when you're standing in front of a crowd of people.